the-dot.org

Originally posted by Oracle on Wed, 02/11/2005

I practice lucid dreaming. I would even go so far as to say it is a hobby of mine. I first 'woke up' in a dream when I was 16. It lasted maybe 30 seconds and I was so excited actually I woke up. I loved it. Through trial and error over the years I have learned to induce this phenomenon to the point that now, under certain conditions and with a bit of luck, I can go directly into a dream without loosing consciousness.

These conditions were ripe this evening; I had slept very little the night before and so I was very tired, I had consumed tea like a tea-bound fish throughout the day, and I had drunk half a bottle of rose. I had about two hours to spare before celebrating Diwali with my new Hindu friend and so I thought I'd try to lucid dream. Well, more specifically I wanted to semi-lucid dream (the rose would help the semi part). Since 'semi-lucid' is my own term let me just explain what I mean. I enter the dream and choose the setting and then just slightly forget I'm dreaming , this greatly aids role-play , whilst constantly being on the verge of consciousness. Since I had yet to dream about university life I thought I would make that the setting. And so I did.

I had absolutely no intention of writing it down afterwards but when I awoke I thought it sufficiently notable to be recorded on paper now and then into my audio diary later. About half-way through the second paragraph I thought it might make interesting dot fodder (you will see the shift to a more audience centered tone). Please forgive any grammar mistakes for an edit after writing might bring in falsehoods. I did however correct spelling mistakes. Remember I wrote as quickly as I could before I'd forget so do not regard this as an example of my penmanship.

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People came to my door I answered it and when I closed it part broke off. Warden came and demanded money for the repair. I told him no and thought about lecturing him on being a good landlord.

I left to the bar and on the way I saw Jenny (a redheaded girl I knew from school). I wanted to apologise for calling her brother a Ginger in front of her 8 years ago! She recognised me but acted as though she didn't want to know me. I persisted and followed her to her table. She said she was in her 3rd year there. Then infront of 3 of her friends I declared my apology and said I wanted to get to know her better (in my mind I wanted to make her my girlfriend). She still resisted. I loudly declared I wasn't the man I used to be, I'm now sane. She gave me her phone number. I dropped it and then fell. While trying to pick it up I found that I couldn't move my arm. I was afraid she would see me and think I was drunk. I pulled harder and this brought myself to the brink of real life consciousness , I became aware (awake aware) that my arm was trapped under my body. This phenomenon is common when lucid dreaming. You try to move a body part in the dream but your real body part tries to move. I telepathically communicated to her that she should ignore my drunken behaviour and I slowly picked myself up and the phone number (slowly so my real arm did not move). I then lowered my lucid state once more and proceeded with the dream.

I went off immediately to a pay phone to call her. While dialling she appeared and commented on the strangeness of me not owning a mobile (even though in real life I now do). The scene changed (as they do in dreams) and I was walking down a corridor. Bear in mind that all of this was taking place in the university and felt extremely familiar and I knew the places as well as I now do in real life , however, upon waking I can note that none of it was university , neither physically nor the people involved, barring myself.

Down the corridor I bumped into Daniel W (an old god friend). I enthusiastically greeted him declaring I hadn't seen him in 10 years. He said he didn't think it had been that long and I said well, we haven't been friends in 10 years. In my memories within my dreams this was true. In real life it has been about 5 years and 4 months since I haven't seen him and 6 years and 4 months since we have spoken as current friends. He remarked that he needed the toilet and entered (the door to the toilet being right next to us). I thought about Jenny again and went to find her (this thought would prop up every few minutes throughout the rest of the dream barring the last 15 minutes).

The desire to get money entered my mind and I made my way to the bank. I walked down a stretch of the outside uni which was the closest imagery in the dream to real life , but it was still far off. For some reason I entered what I knew to be the main food shop (having forgotten about going to the bank) but when I entered the scene was a quiz room already in the works , at once I forgot about the shop too.

I looked around and nobody noticed me , despite the silence and my obvious central presence. There were teams arranged in groups of tables and I sat fairly close to one and observed the game for a moment. I caught the eye of a table of people I knew who waved at me and gestured me over. It came to me that I had come to participate with my team but I was late. I got up to move over and simultaneously took out my wallet (I knew that I had to pay a £1 fee to join the team).

Instead I dropped my wallet and out burst notes on scraps of paper all over the floor , ridiculously over the floor actually. They were all over the room. I was extremely embarrassed but walked over to pick them up. A girl made to help pick a piece that was near her but then stopped. Before I had managed my task my extreme embarrassment (now quite painful) brought me to the realisation that I was dreaming. Not wanting to wake up yet - because at this point I noted the extreme symbolism of the dream and I was hopeful to see Daniel and Jenny again , I once more lowered my lucidity and silently wished it had been Ruth instead of Jenny. When extreme lucidity of this kind happens it is almost impossible to keep the scene; and so it changed (but I kept the uni arena).

I was at the uni bar drinking with someone from my kitchen group (both nameless and formless - he wasn't even there but I knew I was in the middle of an evenings drinking with him. A guy came up to me and started idle chatter as if he knew me. I asked who he was and he said we had met before and asked me to drink with him instead of who I was with. I then again realised I was dreaming (although this was a false lucidity as I now realise for I recognised him as a boy I had had a drink with in another recent dream , for, now awake, I know I had no such dream. The brief moment of false lucidity was lost and I was firmly back in the dream. I noted his face , one of marked androgyny , and I found him very attractive , and so I decided to drink with him. I suddenly felt comfortable with him ,as if I had indeed met and spent comfortable time with him before.

The bartender asked me for my pillow and I said I would go get it. The getting of the pillow never actually took place but I gave it to him and I felt as if I had actually gone all the way back to my room to get it. I was curious as to why he would need it. After a while (felt like a while but was actually instantaneous) he gave it back. The first thing I noticed was that the cover was gone. Then I noticed that it felt as if there was semen on it. There was; a semen patch in the middle of the pillow and another in the same place on the opposite side. I was furious. I felt as if I had been violated. I told him I'd call the police. I looked for a phone and there was one , I tried to call but the phone was broken (actually physically damaged). I looked back at the bar man and he knowingly smiled at me. There must have been more to this scene for I know it took longer than the events I have described , but this extra stuff eludes my memory, maybe I did go back for the pillow.

Around about this point noises from real life (two girls talking in the corridor just outside my room; Come on. Play one more games) almost woke me up. They are actually playing monopoly as I write. Through years of lucid dreaming I was able to stay asleep (or rather immediately get back to sleep, its very hard to explain). Due to the strangeness of the last scene I decided that it was a good time to get up. I went to the kitchen and made a cup of tea. Whilst boiling, I decided that this dream was sufficiently unique that it had to be penned. This dream lasted 43 minutes , give or take 30 seconds.

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Please note that this was strictly not lucid dreaming but rather dreaming structured by deliberate moments of lucidity. If I had desired I could have been aware I was dreaming throughout the whole , but natural interaction with people in such a state is something that I am still working on. I fear it may not be possible and may be akin to talking to yourself while awake. In an extreme lucid dream I usually go flying or walk through walls! or even invoke emotions at will , these are leisure dreams. In working dreams and experimenting dreams I develop my skills. Flying came naturally , but the fear of falling must be overcome. Walking through objects requires suspending your natural instincts , you cannot walk through unless you believe you are able. Discovering the limits has in the past involved opening books in the dream, or, the aforementioned, talking to people.

This was a structured dream designed to gain insight into my waking life. To me, its meanings are so glaringly obvious.